When does a person, standing at the crossroads of agonizing physical pain and an indomitable urge to live, choose the path of self-destruction? How hollowed-out and utterly isolated must the heart of a sharp journalist become near the end of his days to bring an end to his own life? Senior journalist Pulak Chatterjee left behind a tragic chronicle answering just that. When his lifeless, hanging body was recovered from a locked room at the Samakal Bureau office on Para Road in Barishal city, the five small notes found beside him were not merely scraps of paper. They were the farewell messages of a tormented soul, a tearful plea of love, and an earnest prayer to hold on to his loved ones one last time.

The departure of this former Barishal bureau chief of Dainik Samakal is not merely news of a death; it marks the painful conclusion to a prolonged battle with social and physical suffering. Exhausted by his struggle against an unbearable illness, he had even traveled across borders to Vellore, India, in search of healing, only to be defeated by fate. The very journalist who once brought stories of societal injustice, human suffering, and life struggles to the newspaper pages was quietly pushed into a dark abyss of deep grief by his illness and the pain of job loss.

His helplessness was starkly evident in the note addressed to the authorities. Free of anger, it contained only a poignant confession of falling behind socially and physically due to his failing health. Holding no one responsible for his death, he left behind a humble plea: that he be spared from any legal harassment and returned to the arms of his loved ones.

The words left for his beloved wife, Priyanka, and cherished daughter, Prakriti, read like an epic of sorrow. "Forgive me... Prakriti, continue your studies and music lessons,"—this final message from a father is enough to shatter any heart. His poignant statement to Priyanka, "My absence in your life can never be filled," reveals a heartbreaking attempt to comfort his love even as he faced death. While entrusting responsibilities to his brother Deepak gave him a sense of solace, it left behind a profound mark of pain.

He also sought forgiveness from his long-time colleague, Suman Chowdhury, recalling memories of nearly a decade and a half of shared work, and requested that his outstanding dues be handed over to his family. To his lifelong comrade in journalism, SM Zakir Hossain, he offered a simple farewell—one that concealed immense relief alongside a humble request for his family's future security.

In the very office where the scratch of his pen once brought news to life, that familiar space had turned into a mournful sanctuary after he was dismissed from his job in 2023. Finally, on Friday evening, behind the locked doors of that office, a colorful journalistic life came to a close. The immortal testaments of love written across five notes leave us with a solemn truth: just how deeply a human soul must burn in agony to take the painful decision of extinguishing its own light.

Author: Dr. Abul Hasnat Milton,Journalist, Political Analyst, and Chief Editor, The Source News Bangla